Almost there and nowhere near it

.... all that matters is we're still going.

Family health issues.  Loss of loved ones.  Money worries.  Job insecurity.  Big Brother-y living situations.  Since December 2013, we've had all of these in abundance - I'd confidently argue that I'd be pretty content never experiencing any of these ever again, unrealistic as that sounds.  BUT... that's not what this post is about.  It's about all the silver linings, the things amongst the tough stuff that has kept a smile firmly on our faces.  It seems that all we've done is jump over hurdles the past few years, but you know what?  I've come to realise that that's just life.  So enough of all of that, most of it is SO last year!

Despite all of the obstacles, we've slowly but surely picked away at them so that most of them don't matter anymore - either by design or by force (Me?  No, never.) - and for the most part, we've been living a relatively stress-free life for the past 8 months.  We've had some pretty awesome family time at the end of last year, which is always a major bonus for me, and we've both acknowledged that by the end of last year, all of the built-up tension and stress we had been carrying had all but melted away.  It was a really liberating feeling to acknowledge it, even if I didn't realise it was happening at the time.  We've continued to travel, although not as frequently as in previous years and we have come out of our hermit-like existence this year to make an effort to see our friends more.  It's been a great few months actually - we've shrugged the heaviness off our shoulders and are finally feeling like ourselves again.

The last major stress hurdle for Dave and I to overcome is the fact that he still, despite every effort literally every day for over a year, hasn't been able to find work since having his contract ended in March last year.  He has had his ups and downs - the downs being periods where I literally have never felt so useless - but the ups and the expectation and anticipation of the next new adventure make it mostly okay.  At the moment, he's almost there.  We're almost there.  And then what?  We may cash in those life credits my cousin told me about.

Earning life credits

I haven't written in a long time.  That's not to say that I don't have entries stacked up in volumes in my head, but life has been getting the better of us lately, so concentrating on getting through each day, week and month has been the priority.

I won't wax lyrical about the challenges Dave and I have faced over the past 14 months - the last 6 in particular - but suffice it to say that it's not been a bundle of laughs, for us personally, for other members in both of our families and for those near and dear to my nearest and dearest.  I can whole-heartedly say that although 2014 started off amazingly for us (see my last, fairly ironic, blog entry from June last year), it soon became clear that it would end off being one of the worst... and 2015 hasn't disappointed on that front either so far.

I sent an update e-mail to my family the other day and among the responses was a line from my cousin that stuck out at me and I hope he'll forgive me for stealing.  He said "Cuz... hang in there, you are earning life credits from the universe and I'm sure it will swing in the other direction soon".  Life credits.  I love that thought.

All of this, together with writer's block has meant that I've neglected my trusty little blog - the place I go to get the thoughts in my head out and onto paper screen.  So I aim to try and keep up - and catch up! - with it again.  There is a lot of travelling which has not made its way onto the site and I aim to rectify that, starting now.

As the famous movie line goes "It will all be alright in the end.  And if it's not alright, then it is not the end".  We can't control what happens to us, but we can control our attitude towards what happens to us.  I have no doubt that we are nowhere near the end of this tough period yet, we haven't yet rounded the corner where the light starts to shine at the end, but I have a level of optimism about it (most of the time) that hopefully will make the universe stand up and take notice!  With every blow, with every bit of bad news we get either here or from home, I just feel like yelling "Seriously?"  But then I realise that it's just the universe's way of challenging us.  I've always been a big believer in the fact that we won't be sent more than we can handle, so a note to the Powers That Be.... I think we're just about done here.  Although I am certain that I'll learn to deal with it, I'm not sure how much more we or our families can take, so I'm unfurling my white flag as I type!

Tough things happen, sometimes to some people more than others and admittedly, up until now I've been fairly fortunate, but now is my time to adapt my attitude (hard as it may be on some days) and I'm choosing to believe that it will all be alright in the end.

And as for these life credits we're building up? Well, I'm making big plans for them as I type, so Universe, be warned. I hope you can take as good as you give!