The art of giving gracefully

Whether we want to acknowledge it or not, the end of another year is almost upon us.  That means mince pies and mulled wine (for those who like them), scarves, hats, gloves & winter coats, crackling fires, hot chocolate, new and quickly broken resolutions and of course, Christmas.

And what comes with Christmas?  The obligatory giving and receiving of gifts and, if you're lucky, Santa might deem you to have been good and you might get everything on your list.

For me, picking out Christmas gifts (or gifts of any kind), is a personal experience.  The process of buying something which I know the recipient will love because I've done my homework, fills me with a sense of satisfaction surpassed only by the actual giving itself.

I have always loved giving gifts.  My family has, for the past few years, done Secret Santa, which has its advantages and disasvantages for me.  I feel deprived of the opportunity to pick out the perfect gift for the people who I love most in this world, but... the obvious 'but' is that it is the most economic way to deal with Christmas for a family who is spread across the globe.

The same can be said for friends who I buy gifts for.  A few of my friends are away from home at this time of year and it takes all of our combined strength not to get predictably down when we don't get the chance to spend it with all of our family.  Picking out the perfect present for them makes me feel as if I've eased the burden of not being surrounded by family a little for them.

But there is a flipside.  There are some people in my life for whom receiving a present from me has no greater meaning than a simple expectation.  No thanks.  No appreciation for the thought process which goes into picking a really good gift out, but simply a once-a-year air kiss across the miles to say 'hey, I'm here and even though I haven't acknowledged you this entire year, I'd like my present please'.  Why must I spend my hard-earned money on people like this?

The answer is simple.  Because it is expected and to not do so would be deemed rude.

Any present I buy for people like this would be completely generic and have no thought put into it at all.  And that's not because I can't be bothered, but simply because I don't know these people.  Not for lack of trying.  No effort is ever made on their part to have anything to do with my life.  No happy birthday.  No 'hey, how are you?'.  No acknowledgement of invitations carefully thought about.  But... always a massive load of Christmas presents.  Without fail.  Why?

It's a really sensitive issue and quite a subjective one.  This isn't about naming and shaming.  I'm talking more broadly about the institution of gift giving and how it has, unfortunately, become an expectation to spend money on people I wouldn't ordinarily have much to do with, but because of some vague and displaced sense of responsibility, I do.  Because I'm THAT person.  The one who doesn't like to cause ripples, who bows gracefully to expectation and plods along with the status quo because it's easier than admitting out loud that the whole process is fundamentally flawed. 

Wouldn't it be nice to be able to rid my life of people like this by simply not conforming.  Hmmm... maybe something to consider for next year's resolutions!

A pardon for Cobbler and a happy Thanksgiving

I haven't done much blogging lately and I will be getting back to it soon, I just need my daily commute to get some inspiration!  Being couped up at home for the past 2 weeks has had its advantages, but it has done nothing for my creative brain at all!

In the meantime, while I'm seeking inspiration for my next blog entry, a very Happy Thanksgiving for yesterday to all of my US family and friends and especially to Cobbler, who I'm guessing is pretty chuffed with himself today! 

I'm hoping to be sat around a Thanksgiving table with my family in the next couple of years, just to experience the tradition!  4th July.  Check.  Halloween.  Check.  Still to do - Memorial Day, Labour Day and first and foremost, Thanksgiving.  Happy eating (or dieting from today), peeps!

Make it count!

Food for thought for the day...

I am often puzzled by the expression 'life is short'.  Life is the longest thing any of us do.  There is nothing during our lives that we spend longer doing than living.  Most of us have unfortunately lost loved ones too soon, but I always remind myself of the need to focus on the part that was, not the part that never was.  The good, not the bad.  The happy, not the sad.  The happy times are the memories which let us know that we are really living, as we were intended to, for however long or short that may be.

Make it count.

Introducing Lucy

She's so pretty, isn't she?

So this is Lucy.  She is Dave's 40th birthday present - arrived 2 weeks early.  She will be exactly 12 weeks old on his actual birthday, the 17th November.  She was born on the 25th August and was one of a litter of 3 - 1 golden girl, a chocolate boy and her.  She's awesome, so placid and as you can see... so pretty.

When we moved into our house, we were originally told that we were not allowed to have dogs.  Then in January, I approached the landlord again, asking for his permission if we put certain measures in place, namely baby gates so as not to allow her access to upstairs (even though all of upstairs is laminated flooring, except for the landing and all of downstairs is carpeted - even the kitchen!).  Anyway, he agreed and I kept it a secret from Dave.  I told him about 2 or 3 months ago that I had managed to get permission to have a dog and his eyes lit up like a Christmas tree - he was ecstatic!

The next obstacle was trying to work out when to get her.  We go away quite often, so it's a toss-up between still being responsible pet owners (which we are) and not allowing our movements to be ruled by our pets.  So I set about trying to find dog sitters and dog walkers, because until she's old enough to be left alone, we want her to continue to be socialised whilst we're at work.  So I have some time off work from the end of this week and will be able to stay with her and in the meantime, we're looking around for a puppy sitting service.  She is starting training classes next week - that should be fun!

We originally wanted the golden girl of the litter, but missed out on her by about 10 minutes, after we were delayed getting to the house to meet the pups.  During the 20 minutes we were there, Lucy just plodded around the kitchen, very curious, but very placid.  The golden girl, on the other hand, destroyed the corner of a massive bag of dog biscuits, shovelled about a kilo of them, then proceeded to tear apart a sock!  I'm beginning to think that we got the easier end of the bargain!

We had a really hard time naming her, resorting to Facebook to ask for suggestions for names for her.  We got a lot of really good suggestions (and a couple of not-so-good ones!) and after just over a day of being with us, she eventually had a name.  Lucy.  She is now starting to respond to it, which is very sweet to watch.  Now onto the house training... should be FUN!  Although... with eyes like this, who could be cross with her when the accidents inevitably happen?!

 

We're really looking forward to all the years of joy this little girl is going to bring us and I have no doubt that she will feature quite regularly on this blog in the days, months and years to come!

Fifty Shades of HUH?

I haven't bought into the whole 'Fifty Shades' craze.  All I needed to hear from enough people was that it was really badly written and that has quashed any interest I might have had in reading it (which was between zero and none at all).  While I know that this is a very subjective view, the content is not something that would generally interest me, so my decision is not entirely based on other opinions about the quality of the writing, but it has been a major factor in my not having picked up either of the books.

A friend of mine was completely taken with the series of books and remarked a few times about how grateful she was to have a kindle - thereby not allowing other people on the train to see what she was reading.  She told me about a day when she was on the train and deeply engrossed in the latest chapter and she looked over to the person next to her, who was reading the Bible!  She felt suitably embarrassed and even more grateful that the cover of her book was not on display!  Quite understandably, I loved that story, it made me laugh for a long time after that and still does.

I think it's like Marmite - you either love it or hate it.  Most people I know of who have read it have either started it and devoured all 3 in fairly quick succession, or started it and kind of lost interest fairly quickly.  And then you get those of us, like me, who have never attempted to read it.  In social media and the Press, there is a definite love-hate relationship between those who have read it and love it (aka Group A) and those who either didn't enjoy it or have never read it (Group B).  The fierce criticism dealt out by Group A about Group B has been eye-opening and quite unbelievable to read.  Which is fair in my assessment - someone who has never read the book would have no accurate frame of reference, and so should have no place in its criticism.  People are fiercely protective of Mr Whipman and Miss Whiplady (I paraphrase, of course) and vehemently protest at even so much as a comma which is printed in objection to the book.  Whether she can write well or not, E L James has certainly lit a fire under the butts of readers worldwide and perhaps, for the first time since the whole 'Harry Potter is evil' debate, got people talking. 

I sometimes marvel at how the development of slang and colloquial English have swayed our thoughts on what words to use in everyday conversation.  Who hasn't blushed, however slightly, when they've come across a man named Willy or Dick?  Or a lady named Fanny?  For goodness' sake, even our beloved characters in Enid Blyton's The Faraway Tree series had to be renamed, all in the name of political correctness!  Case in point - Dave and I were in a shop the other day and he (at nearly 40 years old) pointed to a can of 'Pussy' energy drink and chuckled.  I mean... come on.  What on earth possessed the maker of that drink to give it that name?  What possible connotation of that word would make you think that it was an appropriate name for an energy drink - crude connotation or not?

Possibly the funniest thing that has happened to me in a long time happened in Germany earlier this year when my friend and I were in Baden Baden for a weekend.  We went on a day trip to Freiburg and we wanted to go up the Schlossberg Tower.  It was cold and incredibly windy and not surprisingly, we were the only tourists going up to the top of a tower on that particular day in early January.  We went to the ticket office, where a young guy was standing behind some plate glass - at least he was warm!  My friend asked for the tickets while I looked at the various posters around the booking office.  She was engaging him in conversation about our trip so far and then asked him if the tower was open that day, whilst pointing outside at the howling gales.  He said to her, in his broken English, with his hand making a backwards-and-fowards gesture, 'It is open, but with the wind, it is... how do you say?  Wanking'.  Well.  I was standing on her right and her head immediately shot to the left, so as not to be able to see me, because I was completely startled and whispered to her 'Did he just say....?' and all I could see was the back of her head because she refused to look at me!  She briefly nodded, kept her nose down, took the tickets and ran to the corner of the booking office, never once looking at me.  Her face was so red from keeping in the hysterical laughter.  It took us about 5 minutes to work out how to use the self-service lift to take us up the mountain, because our sides were splitting from laughing so much.  It took us double the amount of time to walk up the rest of the hill it probably would have normally because we were bursting out into fits of giggles every 10 steps or so.  I have never laughed so much in my life that I can remember.  We were still laughing when we went to bed that night... and the next day... and the following month... and still today!  I told Dave about this when I spoke to him later that night (my friend still giggling away uncontrollably at my retelling of the story) and Dave immediately knew that the guy had used the German word for 'waver' - Wanken!  He was trying to tell us that the tower would be swaying in the wind.  That, then, at least gave us an explanation for his choice of expression, but it just goes to show how our minds immediately flipped to the less savoury meaning of the word and to this day, we still call it our visit to the 'wanking tower'.

A friend of mine has just posted this on Facebook and it made me giggle - after a really long and trying week at work, this appealed to my sense of humour.  Sorry to those of you who enjoyed the book, this is not meant to cause any offence!

Fifty Shades of Grey - A husbands view
The missus bought a Paperback
...down town on Saturday,
I had a look inside her bag;
...T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".

Well I just left her to it,
and at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
the sight filled me with dread.

In her left she held a rope;
and in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
and then began to strip.

Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
but Mabel hasn't weathered well;
she's eighty four next week!!

Watching Mabel bump and grind;
could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
she toppled off her Zimmer!

She struggled back upon her feet;
a couple minutes later;
she put her teeth back in and said
.....I'm the dominater !!

Now if you knew our Mabel,
you'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
for the last complaint I'd uttered.

She stood there nude and naked
bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left tit!

Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one"!!

Well readers, I can tell no more;
of what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
turned Fifty Shades of Grey.

Personally, it's not my cup of tea, so I have no right to criticise at all - and I hope that I haven't, because that wasn't the intention for this post - but, cringe-worthy or not, she obviously did something right to whip up such a stir (see what I did there?). 

Now... can of 'Pussy' anyone?