Dear William

To my gorgeous Godson

It's been nearly 2 months since you came into our lives and I can tell you something, I have never seen your parents happier! Over the past 18 years I've seen them love, I've seen them fight, I've seen them with endless smiles on their wedding day and I've seen them go through one of the toughest years of their lives last year, but nothing compares to their faces when they look at you.

Your mom has been my best friend since we were 9. That's 26 years of solid friendship that I am so thankful for. Those years have seen us go through a huge amount, most of it apart from each other because of geography, but when we speak to each other, it's as if only a few hours have gone by since we last spoke. One of the many things I love about your mom is that when we laugh, we do it properly - until our bellies hurt and we have tears pouring down our cheeks! And one of the best things about your dad is how much he loves your mom. That has never wavered from the first day he came into her life and is so evident in everything he does.

So I want you to know that you have been chosen by 2 of the best people I know and buddy, that's the best start I could ever have hoped for you.

I was absolutely honoured when your mom asked me to be your Godmother. You'll come to know as you grow older that everyone has their own belief systems and whilst I won't profess to being a Godmother in the true sense of the word, I can guarantee that not a day will go by that I don't love you. My job is to support your parents, support you and to help guide you through life. It's not always easy, but I aim to help make it the most fun, valuable and treasured life imaginable for you! You are one in a million, my little boy, your parents waited a long time for you and they are doing an amazing job! In the few weeks that they've had you, I have seen your little personality grow in leaps and bounds... you are a truly happy little being (with eyes that are capable of melting hearts!). Add to that the amazing family they both have and you are one lucky little chap.

There is plenty of time in your life for me to tell you stories about your parents, funny ones that will give you belly laughs and will no doubt some day embarrass you completely, but for now, I want you to know that even though I am not with you every day, I am thinking about you. I am watching you grow and loving every photo, video and anecdote that your mom sends me. I know when you got your first tooth and I am expecting any day now to know that you've taken your first step or said your first word. There are so many 'firsts' that I am so excited for your parents to experience with you.

My promise to you is that I will always provide a support system, be a shoulder for you to lean on, give you guidance when you need it and a steer on the right path. I promise to always pack the fun along with the life lessons and mostly, I promise that you will always have tons and tons of love. I also promise one day to explain to you why I call you my little Squirt - although I may keep that nugget for your 18th birthday!

You have come into my life just when I needed a ray of sunshine and you've certainly provided it in copious amounts with that ever-present cheeky, dimpled grin.

Sending you all my love across the miles, little buddy!

Love Aunty Lins xxx

Earning life credits

I haven't written in a long time.  That's not to say that I don't have entries stacked up in volumes in my head, but life has been getting the better of us lately, so concentrating on getting through each day, week and month has been the priority.

I won't wax lyrical about the challenges Dave and I have faced over the past 14 months - the last 6 in particular - but suffice it to say that it's not been a bundle of laughs, for us personally, for other members in both of our families and for those near and dear to my nearest and dearest.  I can whole-heartedly say that although 2014 started off amazingly for us (see my last, fairly ironic, blog entry from June last year), it soon became clear that it would end off being one of the worst... and 2015 hasn't disappointed on that front either so far.

I sent an update e-mail to my family the other day and among the responses was a line from my cousin that stuck out at me and I hope he'll forgive me for stealing.  He said "Cuz... hang in there, you are earning life credits from the universe and I'm sure it will swing in the other direction soon".  Life credits.  I love that thought.

All of this, together with writer's block has meant that I've neglected my trusty little blog - the place I go to get the thoughts in my head out and onto paper screen.  So I aim to try and keep up - and catch up! - with it again.  There is a lot of travelling which has not made its way onto the site and I aim to rectify that, starting now.

As the famous movie line goes "It will all be alright in the end.  And if it's not alright, then it is not the end".  We can't control what happens to us, but we can control our attitude towards what happens to us.  I have no doubt that we are nowhere near the end of this tough period yet, we haven't yet rounded the corner where the light starts to shine at the end, but I have a level of optimism about it (most of the time) that hopefully will make the universe stand up and take notice!  With every blow, with every bit of bad news we get either here or from home, I just feel like yelling "Seriously?"  But then I realise that it's just the universe's way of challenging us.  I've always been a big believer in the fact that we won't be sent more than we can handle, so a note to the Powers That Be.... I think we're just about done here.  Although I am certain that I'll learn to deal with it, I'm not sure how much more we or our families can take, so I'm unfurling my white flag as I type!

Tough things happen, sometimes to some people more than others and admittedly, up until now I've been fairly fortunate, but now is my time to adapt my attitude (hard as it may be on some days) and I'm choosing to believe that it will all be alright in the end.

And as for these life credits we're building up? Well, I'm making big plans for them as I type, so Universe, be warned. I hope you can take as good as you give!