It's only hair...

The title of this post is a flippant statement that you or I might make when we get our hair cut.  Turn the tables and look at it from the perspective of someone who is facing losing theirs and you can see how that simple statement could be turned into a frustrated question.  It's only hair?! 

I've just done something that I've never really thought about before.  I've donated my hair to charity to help people who face losing theirs to various medications - the people that spring most easily to mind are cancer patients (read: Superheros) undergoing chemotherapy and radiation.

To give you a bit of background as to why I decided to do this, it's worth pointing out that I, selfishly, initially wanted only to help 1 person in particular. 

My younger cousin has recently been diagnosed with Paget's Disease and will shortly be undergoing all of the horrible medication cycles associated with The Big C.  As you can imagine, one of the first things that initially worried her was the potential to lose her hair through having the treatment, and so, in her typically proactive, upbeat and positive way, she got on the case with 'Project Wig' almost immediately.  I won't tell her story for her, you can read more about it below.

Pause at that point and take one step back to a couple of months ago where, at a Charity Day at work, I won a voucher to have my hair cut and blow-dried at a local salon.  It's not my usual salon, so I didn't really think too much about using the voucher until a couple of weeks ago when I decided that I could probably do with a bit of a pre-Autumn spruce.  I remembered the voucher and, like a light bulb going on, an idea came to me.  I sent my cousin a message to ask if I could donate my hair for use in her wig.  Because she's so on the ball, talks around her wig are already in progress, but she said 'why don't you donate your hair anyway?'.  I thought about it and thought 'why not?'.  It won't be of any use to me once it's cut.  And so began the process of researching where and how I could go about doing this. 

One company, who will remain anonymous for the purpose of this specific blog post, was a no-go immediately for their discriminatory policies and, after looking through the remaining few, I opted for The Little Princess Trust.  This charity provides real hair wigs for children suffering with hair loss and was the only one I came across which doesn't pay you for your hair.  I don't know why, but being paid for hair that I'm donating for someone else to benefit from made me feel a bit uncomfortable, but to each their own.  I'm not in a position to stand in judgment, but personally speaking, it's just not for me. 

Having carefully washed, but not conditioned, my hair as per the donation guidelines on the morning of the cut, I made sure to pack my plastic bag to put the hair into straight away and off I trotted after work to the salon.  Turns out, they're old hats at this and even offered me a plastic bag of their own!  My stylist had a brief conversation with me about why I was doing this and what I wanted my eventual cut to look like.  She then said to her colleague, 'Please can you grab me the clippers?'.  GULP.  Clippers?  Aren't those used by men to shave their heads??  I remained silent, because these people know what they're doing, right?  RIGHT??  I just sat back whilst she took a razor to my hair. 

She hesitated before she started and looked at me and said 'You don't seem bothered by this at all!', to which I replied that I wasn't.  It didn't phase me in the slightest.  Why?  All together now... because 'it's just hair'.  It'll grow back and, with any luck, I'll be able to do this again next year. 

And I was right... she knew just what she was doing!

And so it is that a voucher won at a work Charity Day enabled me to Pay It Forward to a deserving charity who will be able to make use of something that I'd have ordinarily referred to as 'only hair'.  Even if I didn't already like the word so much, I'd still call that serendipity.

For me, at this moment in time, it is 'only' hair... and for a newly discovered reason, I'm incredibly grateful to be able to say that.

For more information on my cousin's journey, please take a look at her blog by clicking here.

UPDATE:  6th October 2016

Today marks the first day of Sarah's treatment as well as her birthday!  Not a nice way to spend your birthday, but as I've said to her, if anyone can get through their first treatment with a smile (and red lippy) on their birthday, she can!

I received this a couple of weeks' ago, which was a nice surprise.

I have a very talented hubby!

I have often thought about adding a page to my blog to shout about Dave's photography.  He's so quietly humble about it, but I'm pretty proud of him!  He posts them on social media. but some of my family aren't 'connected', so I thought I'd post his most recent one here because it's just too amazing not to share.

Good, huh?

Oh, what the hell, now that I'm shouting about it, here are a few more that he's taken recently.

And my personal favourite....

What y'all think?  

Decisions, decisions...

The title of this blog post seems like it's going to be a deep and meaningful one, but it's not.  I just read something today that I loved and I've gone back to it over and over again... not because I have any burning decisions to make, but because I love the simplicity of the instruction.

"If you are ever stuck choosing between two things, simply flip a coin.  Not because it chooses for you, but because for those few seconds that the coin is in the air, you know what you are hoping for."

Sounds pretty simple, right?  It seems a good way to alleviate the stress of decision-making.  Put all your faith in a coin... and for a few seconds, the power of your own mind and heart.  Isn't that the typical power struggle though?  Heart vs mind.  

I'm going to try to remember to apply this simple logic next time I'm stuck and see which one screams the loudest.

By the way, I have no idea who authored this, so kudos to whomever it is due.

An update on the Travel Blog That Never Was

This post will mainly serve as an aide memoire for me for posterity, given that it was three and a half years ago now that I vowed to keep up with my travel blog by kicking it off with a post about our travels up to that point.  Well, a little like I described in that post about the numerous attempts at a travel blog before that, my idea never really lifted off.  It really tried, bless its little soul, it really begged, bugged, popped itself as an idea every so often into my brain, but it's owner and author couldn't keep up.  Yes, that's me. *she types with one hand whilst guiltily lifting the other*.  

So... a refresher on that post and subsequent trips that did get time devoted to them before I move on:

The travel blog that never was - October 2012

Normandy, France - October 2012

Ljubljana, Slovenia - December 2012

New Year in Switzerland - December 2012

Reykjavik, Iceland - March 2013

Tuscany, Italy - May 2013

Cornwall, England - May 2013

South Africa - May 2013

And whilst going through this list, I have realised that I drafted up 2 further travel blogs - one for Croatia, Bosnia & Montenegro in September 2013 and one for our Thanksgiving trip to the US in November of the same year and I never finished them.  I guess it's kind of understandable since December 2013 is when Dave's dad fell very ill and we needed to make some pretty quick decisions about our - and his - living situation which meant that most other stuff just had to be put on the back burner for a while or cancelled altogether (including, ironically, an anniversary trip to Helsinki that year), but I just can't believe that I didn't finish what I had fully intended to post.  

Just for the record, they were entitled "Beautiful Bosnia, mad Montenegro and chilled Croatia... all in a mini road trip!" and "An American Tale and a home away from home for the holidays".

So whilst they don't have their own posts, they are included in my renewed list of travels with photo album links below, in continuation of the Travel Blog That Never Was (aka The TBTNW).  

Ready?  Right... deep breath... here we go!

Durban, South Africa - May 2013

Cape Town, South Africa - May 2013

Mostar, Sarajevo & Trebinje, Bosnia - September 2013

Montenegro - September 2013

Dubrovnik, Split & Trogir, Croatia - September 2013

Philadelphia, USA - November 2013

Washington DC, USA - November 2013

New York, USA - November 2013

Thanksgiving in New Jersey, USA - November 2013

Shannon's visit to the UK - December 2013

Bangkok & Nong Khai, Thailand - April 2014

Vientiane & Luang Prabang, Laos - April 2014

Siem Reap & Angkor Wat, Cambodia - April 2014

Phnom Penh & The Killing Fields, Cambodia - April 2014

Ho Chi Minh City (Saigon), Da Nang & Hoi An, Vietnam - April 2014

Hanoi & Halong Bay, Vietnam - April 2014

One Tree Hill Convention: From Wilmington To Paris, France - September 2014

Berlin, Germany - November 2014

Milan, Italy - November 2014

Isle of Wight - December 2014

Etosha & Windhoek, Namibia - December 2014

Durban, South Africa - December 2014

Cape Town, South Africa - December 2014

Oslo & Sandefjord, Norway - May 2015

Santiago & Valparaiso, Chile - August 2015

Wilmington, NC, USA - August 2015

Stockholm, Sweden - October 2015

New York, USA - November 2015

Québec City, Canada - November 2015

Road trip to Montreal, Canada - November 2015

Ottawa, Canada - November 2015

Toronto, Canada - November 2015

Niagara Falls, Canada - November 2015

Thanksgiving in New Jersey, USA - November 2015

Katie's UK visit - December 2015

Penny & Kurt's UK visit - December 2015

North Wales with Penny & Kurt - December 2015

Malta, Gozo & Comino - March 2016

We have a few travel plans already in the pipeline this year, included a 3rd annual family trip with Dave's cousins, but next up will be a short hop over to Dublin to spend some time with a very dear friend and soaking up some music and then it's my beautiful South Africa next month... only 33 sleeps to go!

Almost there and nowhere near it

.... all that matters is we're still going.

Family health issues.  Loss of loved ones.  Money worries.  Job insecurity.  Big Brother-y living situations.  Since December 2013, we've had all of these in abundance - I'd confidently argue that I'd be pretty content never experiencing any of these ever again, unrealistic as that sounds.  BUT... that's not what this post is about.  It's about all the silver linings, the things amongst the tough stuff that has kept a smile firmly on our faces.  It seems that all we've done is jump over hurdles the past few years, but you know what?  I've come to realise that that's just life.  So enough of all of that, most of it is SO last year!

Despite all of the obstacles, we've slowly but surely picked away at them so that most of them don't matter anymore - either by design or by force (Me?  No, never.) - and for the most part, we've been living a relatively stress-free life for the past 8 months.  We've had some pretty awesome family time at the end of last year, which is always a major bonus for me, and we've both acknowledged that by the end of last year, all of the built-up tension and stress we had been carrying had all but melted away.  It was a really liberating feeling to acknowledge it, even if I didn't realise it was happening at the time.  We've continued to travel, although not as frequently as in previous years and we have come out of our hermit-like existence this year to make an effort to see our friends more.  It's been a great few months actually - we've shrugged the heaviness off our shoulders and are finally feeling like ourselves again.

The last major stress hurdle for Dave and I to overcome is the fact that he still, despite every effort literally every day for over a year, hasn't been able to find work since having his contract ended in March last year.  He has had his ups and downs - the downs being periods where I literally have never felt so useless - but the ups and the expectation and anticipation of the next new adventure make it mostly okay.  At the moment, he's almost there.  We're almost there.  And then what?  We may cash in those life credits my cousin told me about.

Dear William

To my gorgeous Godson

It's been nearly 2 months since you came into our lives and I can tell you something, I have never seen your parents happier! Over the past 18 years I've seen them love, I've seen them fight, I've seen them with endless smiles on their wedding day and I've seen them go through one of the toughest years of their lives last year, but nothing compares to their faces when they look at you.

Your mom has been my best friend since we were 9. That's 26 years of solid friendship that I am so thankful for. Those years have seen us go through a huge amount, most of it apart from each other because of geography, but when we speak to each other, it's as if only a few hours have gone by since we last spoke. One of the many things I love about your mom is that when we laugh, we do it properly - until our bellies hurt and we have tears pouring down our cheeks! And one of the best things about your dad is how much he loves your mom. That has never wavered from the first day he came into her life and is so evident in everything he does.

So I want you to know that you have been chosen by 2 of the best people I know and buddy, that's the best start I could ever have hoped for you.

I was absolutely honoured when your mom asked me to be your Godmother. You'll come to know as you grow older that everyone has their own belief systems and whilst I won't profess to being a Godmother in the true sense of the word, I can guarantee that not a day will go by that I don't love you. My job is to support your parents, support you and to help guide you through life. It's not always easy, but I aim to help make it the most fun, valuable and treasured life imaginable for you! You are one in a million, my little boy, your parents waited a long time for you and they are doing an amazing job! In the few weeks that they've had you, I have seen your little personality grow in leaps and bounds... you are a truly happy little being (with eyes that are capable of melting hearts!). Add to that the amazing family they both have and you are one lucky little chap.

There is plenty of time in your life for me to tell you stories about your parents, funny ones that will give you belly laughs and will no doubt some day embarrass you completely, but for now, I want you to know that even though I am not with you every day, I am thinking about you. I am watching you grow and loving every photo, video and anecdote that your mom sends me. I know when you got your first tooth and I am expecting any day now to know that you've taken your first step or said your first word. There are so many 'firsts' that I am so excited for your parents to experience with you.

My promise to you is that I will always provide a support system, be a shoulder for you to lean on, give you guidance when you need it and a steer on the right path. I promise to always pack the fun along with the life lessons and mostly, I promise that you will always have tons and tons of love. I also promise one day to explain to you why I call you my little Squirt - although I may keep that nugget for your 18th birthday!

You have come into my life just when I needed a ray of sunshine and you've certainly provided it in copious amounts with that ever-present cheeky, dimpled grin.

Sending you all my love across the miles, little buddy!

Love Aunty Lins xxx

Earning life credits

I haven't written in a long time.  That's not to say that I don't have entries stacked up in volumes in my head, but life has been getting the better of us lately, so concentrating on getting through each day, week and month has been the priority.

I won't wax lyrical about the challenges Dave and I have faced over the past 14 months - the last 6 in particular - but suffice it to say that it's not been a bundle of laughs, for us personally, for other members in both of our families and for those near and dear to my nearest and dearest.  I can whole-heartedly say that although 2014 started off amazingly for us (see my last, fairly ironic, blog entry from June last year), it soon became clear that it would end off being one of the worst... and 2015 hasn't disappointed on that front either so far.

I sent an update e-mail to my family the other day and among the responses was a line from my cousin that stuck out at me and I hope he'll forgive me for stealing.  He said "Cuz... hang in there, you are earning life credits from the universe and I'm sure it will swing in the other direction soon".  Life credits.  I love that thought.

All of this, together with writer's block has meant that I've neglected my trusty little blog - the place I go to get the thoughts in my head out and onto paper screen.  So I aim to try and keep up - and catch up! - with it again.  There is a lot of travelling which has not made its way onto the site and I aim to rectify that, starting now.

As the famous movie line goes "It will all be alright in the end.  And if it's not alright, then it is not the end".  We can't control what happens to us, but we can control our attitude towards what happens to us.  I have no doubt that we are nowhere near the end of this tough period yet, we haven't yet rounded the corner where the light starts to shine at the end, but I have a level of optimism about it (most of the time) that hopefully will make the universe stand up and take notice!  With every blow, with every bit of bad news we get either here or from home, I just feel like yelling "Seriously?"  But then I realise that it's just the universe's way of challenging us.  I've always been a big believer in the fact that we won't be sent more than we can handle, so a note to the Powers That Be.... I think we're just about done here.  Although I am certain that I'll learn to deal with it, I'm not sure how much more we or our families can take, so I'm unfurling my white flag as I type!

Tough things happen, sometimes to some people more than others and admittedly, up until now I've been fairly fortunate, but now is my time to adapt my attitude (hard as it may be on some days) and I'm choosing to believe that it will all be alright in the end.

And as for these life credits we're building up? Well, I'm making big plans for them as I type, so Universe, be warned. I hope you can take as good as you give!

A change is all I needed!

It's been a few months since I made what seemed to me to be a radical decision. I've always thought about looking for a job closer to home, but I never really put much effort into it. That was because I loved my job. I loved my role, I love my work friends (still love them to bits!) and I truly loved going to work, even if it meant sitting for 4 hours on trains every day. Circumstances after that - and completely by my own doing - meant that I found myself in a role that was incredibly unsatisfying. I learnt a few years ago that there is far more to life than sitting at a desk, spending every day in a job that doesn't test you.

It has been a month today since I started my new job around the corner from home and I can honestly say that I feel more relaxed than I have done in years - and I didn't feel particularly wound up before! I now have the luxury of time - time to sleep in, time to walk Lucy in the mornings and time to take a leisurely drive to the office. Time to get home when it's still light, time to cook and time to spend time with Dave in the evenings. Whereas before my week was dictated by train schedules, there are now no timetables to stick to and I'm loving it! Add to that the fact that I am once again doing what I truly love to do and it's a winning formula.

I won't lie, this has been an amazing year for us and I touch a lot of wood saying that. If no other good things happen this year, I can honestly say that I'm happy with my lot in 2014. It's been a truly fantastic year so far and it's only June.

The saying is that a haircut is as good as a holiday, well in my case, a holiday and new job have literally turned my life around for the better. Long may it continue!

Three hours and forty minutes

Since Dave and I made the decision to move out to the country, there is only one thing about every day that I've wished I could change.  My 4-hour commute to a job that I love.  4 hours.  2 hours each way - and that is without the inevitable occasional delays caused by the weather, strikes, people who feel the only option is to jump and all sorts of other laughable reasons that the train companies give you.  Not to mention the over £5,000 a year hole in my bank account made by the extortionate fares.

I've never felt particularly stressed about my commute every day - it's a decision that we made and one that I was comfortable with to have the quality of life that we have in the country, away from the noise, grime and fast pace of a big city.  But the reality is that more and more recently, my body has been telling me that it is tired of doing it every day and is not willing to do it for much longer.  I'd always had it in the back of my mind that I'd only move if the exact right role presented itself at the right time... and it's time.  And so comes the end of an era.

I resigned on Thursday from a company that I have loved working at for 5 years.  I was both nervous and really hesitant about it, second-guessing myself right up until halfway through the first conversation (the first of five that I had to have!).  I explained all the usual things like it wasn't a decision that I had arrived at lightly, why I'd made the decision and where I was going. But it wasn't until I explained that I effectively only get 90 minutes a day during the week to spend any time awake in the same room as my husband that it really hit home.  I immediately calmed down because I realised with that one statement that I have made absolutely the right decision.

I am going on to a role which will stretch my braincells and give me a challenge that makes it worth the move.  But one of the best things about it is that it is a 10 minute drive from home.  I will have a total commuting time of 20 minutes a day - 30 maybe if I get stuck behind a tractor.  That will give me back 3 hours and 40 minutes of my life every day, which to me, is absolutely priceless.  I could make a whole lot of promises to myself that I will use that time to exercise, to bake, to clean the house more and a multitude of other things, but the only thing that I'm going to pledge now is that I will appreciate it and absolutely covet those additional hours I'll get to be in my husband's company every day.  Further than that, I'll just see what each day brings.

There are loads of cliches that I could come up with now, but I'll just go with the one that I know to be absolutely true - the past 5 years has presented me with fantastic opportunities that I am incredibly grateful for and I have made life-long friendships from my time there.  And looking forward, although I've taken a risk, it's a risk that I feel has had to be plunged into, so let's see what comes next!  I'm ready!

Goodbye 2013, hello 2014!

As always, I'm behind with my blogging so I still have 2 travel blogs to do from 2013, but they will have to wait until next year!

It's been an exhausting end to 2013, some of it because of fun stuff and some of it because of not-so-fun stuff. Dave's dad has been very ill during December and will unfortunately be seeing in the new year in ICU, but we will go and see him (and maybe even smuggle in a whisky miniature for his drip!). I spent a lovely 10 days of quality time with one of my oldest and dearest friends, which was the fun stuff I was talking about. So all-in-all, an eventful December in more ways than one, but we are all still here and that's what counts.

As this year draws to a close, I wish my family and friends a very happy and healthy 2014. May it be your best year yet!